Can You Have a Divorce without an Attorney

Therapist speaking with couple sitting at desk in therapists office

If you have decided to get a divorce, and both you and your partner agree on that, you may not need to contact an attorney and have to pay them exuberant sums of money for something you and your partner already agree on.

There is a much more civil and less expensive way to do it – divorce mediation.

Divorce mediation experts at Pacific Coast Mediation tell us more about mediation and what some basic requirements are for it to work.

Keeping Things Civil

Getting a divorce in court so very often turns into a farce, largely because the attorneys, who often work for a percentage, tell you to go after all of the money the other person has and to completely destroy the other person’s life and any semblance of a relationship you have with them.

However, there is really no need to do that, especially if you want to stay in touch with this person.

So, skipping attorneys altogether is a much more rational and mature approach to divorce.

Thinking of the Children

Having an amicable divorce can be even more beneficial if you have children together.

They will already be stressed enough about this abrupt and big change in their lives, they do not need to see how their loving parents turn on each other.

They might interpret that anger and resentment as the lack of love for them, which usually has profound negative consequences on their development.

How Does Mediation Work

Mediation is an out of court settlement of the divorce. Professional mediators can help divorcing couples come to a mutually agreeable solution without the need to involve courts.

However, there are some provisions which need to be fulfilled for mediation to work.

First and foremost, the success of mediation depends on your willingness to participate and to compromise. In other words, both you and your spouse need to be committed to the conversation and the peaceful resolution of the marriage.

You will also need a certified mediator, someone who has plenty of experience managing human relationships and someone who can guide you through all the steps in a calm and rational way, without taking sides.

Mediators Don’t Decide Things

It is important to know that mediators are not qualified nor licensed to make decisions about your marriage for you, unlike a judge.

If you decide to use the services of a mediator, that decision is purely voluntary and all of the decisions you end up making need to be your own.

Only when both you and your spouse have agreed on something does that become an official decision which is then presented to the court.

Even If Mediation Fails, You Can Go to Court

Mediation is always a good idea because it can help you have an amicable divorce and help you retain some kind of a relationship with your former spouse.

However, in some cases, there are matters which are really difficult or impossible to resolve through mediation.

If you encounter such a problem, and you feel like mediation didn’t work for you, you can still hire an attorney and go to court and get a legally binding decision from a judge.

However, it is always better to give the peaceful resolution a chance and try to keep a civil and friendly relationship with your former spouse even if your life together didn’t succeed.

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