Do not live your life based on what society thinks. Following other people’s standards will only frustrate you. Instead of relying on what others think about you and the actions you do, you need to live your life based on what will make you happy.
The problem with the idea of trying to please people is that most of them will never feel that way. They will keep on looking for mistakes and will not be satisfied. Even if you feel like you have already done your best, everything you do is still not enough.
If given a chance, you need to pursue what you want even if it seems crazy. For instance, if you want to relax, you can find large country houses to rent for weekends. No one should stop you from doing it. Yes, it seems impractical because the cost might be high. You also intend to stay there alone even if it could accommodate up to ten people. If doing so will help you relax and feel good about yourself, no one should stop you.
Besides, you worked hard to afford to stay in a lovely vacation house. If you think you deserve it and you want to reward yourself, you need to do it.
You always cared about others
You have been working hard for the people you love. You try your best to provide for your family. If you want to do something for yourself this time, it is okay. It will not change the fact that you are self-less and you dedicate your life to making your family happy. Renting a vacation house on the weekend does not make you selfish.
You can do a better job
When you are stress-free, it is also going to benefit you moving forward. It lets you work better. You also feel good when facing other people. You need to have some time off to take care of yourself and come back as a better person. For you, the best way might be to take a vacation. For others, it might be a different strategy. The point is for you to do what you find relaxing.
Stay as crazy as you are
As long as no you do not inflict pain on anyone because of your crazy decisions, it is okay to do what you want. Even if it costs you a lot or it exhausts you, it is understandable if it will make you happy. For now, it might be about large house rental. In the future, it could be an unexpected trip to a country. Regardless, you have to keep pushing through with your plans. You also do not want to live a life filled with regrets because you did not follow what your heart desired.
List the things that you want to do and do not think about the consequences. You can decide on the details later if you already know which way to move forward.